My Night to Her
so tonight, as you know I am stoned...and by myself and just like my mind is exploding and I HAVEEE to tell you!! lol so first I tried to record a video for: you…me talking to video you and I got my good mic out and everything and I was ready to go ranting on video to you so you could watch it tomorrow or while you are high next so you can catch up but I had the wrong conecty chord....but like a fast forward of stoned life...our stone sessions! it was just not complete without you tonight! lol like I just want to tell you everything bahahah like earlier Amanda omgg I have to share my thoughts right now..I'm so goneee…I was having the craziest thoughts about love...like philosopher style shit...like I'm almost going to try and explain it now....picture love is a thing...and since the beginning of time there were very few people in the world, so all these people had soooo much love, an abundance of love....everyone loved so excruciatingly much. they had children and every time a child was born the parents would divide their love to their children and onto their children and their children alike. Until there came a time where love just couldn’t divide any less…it was the minimum allowed requirement per human for survival. That’s how we love….we are the very last dosage allowed for surviving the world. And you know what happened after that, love had to hop around. When one person died, and left someone who they love, their love gets passed on to someone who wasn’t born with love because there was none left for the new people coming. That method worked for a while, until someone who lost their love through tragedy decided to move on. I’m not saying it’s not ok to move on after a death, because you should, but that person is going to be a little bit changed even when totally healed. This also isn’t a bad thing, but it can sometimes lash out, and potentially cause someone to fall out of love. I know…serious business…before we lost love because of death, but now its love lost because it just dies. Eventually the population grows, faster and faster….and all of these original loves the actual substance that love is. Wisps at the love stage we are in, they would stay stagnant say (1 billion people can love at one time and our population in 6 something billion) and that 6 billion ppl are growing and growing but the 1 billion loves are at work until someone has a heart broken, or a love lost, that love that your body was essentially borrowing, is moving onto the next person who needs love, while the previous owner mends its heart, recovers and is ready for love again. You think it's over but no, now this new love that you have feels different from a previous love. That’s because it isn’t the same love…that love is shuffling in a pile like a handful of pennies waiting eagerly to jump into the next person! And the second they hit the body, it’s like wham, the first time you realise that you really know what love is. That split second in time where your body and mind and soul are entirely ready for love….it hits you like a moving train! Because it is moving so fast to get to you. Slams into you and spends the rest of its life with you in there. Then when love is gone, no matter the circumstance. Love has a little moment of parting grief. The worst pain that love is ever going to have to feel is the second it leaves your body. Love as a little yellow fluff dies when your love die, for a split second and the travels instantly towards the next person is amazing joy and the fullest of the full love! And SLAMS into the next person, in their moment when body and soul meat love for the first time. That brush of eternal happiness just glows a radiant yellow. If love were a colour it would be yellow. What a passionate colour. I’m like crying I'm so passionate about the colour yellow. Warm morning yellow, happy but sleepy almost…very yellow, a fall morning. That is the colour of love. Now imagine that morning:
teal y emerald green comforter with intricately sewn on yarn bits I’m orange-red and coppery yellow fuzzy cotton. The sheets are white...the pillows are an array of colour, none matching but that’s the point. Warm yellowy orange mate-ish finish on the food floors, a wrought iron high sanding bed to side tables that mildly resemble the floor with an off white creamy woven rug below a flat topped chest at the foot of the bed. There random maps of counties from Columbus’s journeys on the earth random brass trinket in the coffee table, a bigger one on the floor some ovular mirrors with brassy edges mixed between the maps. Pictures grandmothers’ grandmothers, antique pictures on the walls, antique trinkets and lamps for the tables. It’s a mix between old and new trinkets on the walls etc….I don’t think I’m describing what love looks like anymore. Just want I want my room and house to look like when I’m older. I was my house to be like that. Thrift store and antique beautiful finds…and antique KEYS! And teacups and elephants! Wow I have so many collections…and JARS!! And records!!! And I’m a cereal fish killer and buyer! OMG I’m so high I cannot believe what I am typing right now…. tiff is home and I feel as though I am typing too loud….she totally knows I’m in my room and stoned...feel a tad bad...rhyme...and it probably smells like pot…wooooow I want to re read this….I chose to write to you instead of my diary tonight! Be honourrreeddd loll I hope you have a good mid term tomorrow btw, you will prob read this after its done…if you even finish it at all…omggg ok I’m gonna say a word in brackets…just a random word and if you can tell me what it is…just say the word without an explanation just saying it and then I will know that you actually read this HAHAAH that’s funny! I hope you read this because that would just be cool!! Omgg just think about it actuallllyyyy holy shit…like I am typing to you and sending it through facebook or email or something…and it is gonna travel through the AIR somehow and land nicely and neatly in your computer….THENN you are gonna read it and later that day without having spoken a word…or even made eye contact with you, you will have somehow gotten the message through the invisible air wires! Fucking technology BLOWS my mind!!!! “homely” aahhaha I really hope you read that and say the word homely PLEASEE I’m begging you …lol ok this thing is like 1,127 words…that’s an essay…plugged out in about a half an hour. Wooow what the brain is capable of doing when it is actually excited and interested in the thing he is doing! Like you and your book….you just do that amazingly with high but very, very satisfying effort…you have written HOW many words now and that just simply because you love doing it! Ill spend months on a song or days on a song depending what kind of song it is and I will be so satisfied when its finished….that’s because I LOVE doing it…now imagine if ppl felt that enthusiastic about their jobs there would be like world piece or some shit lol…anyways I’m odd...LOL I meant off but that’s funny too lol. I’m off to bed…night night partner I love you, you are here in mind…aka even when I’m not with you I can still be talking….at?....you??? lol…ughh sorry for talking your ear off......................................................................................................................................night.ap
