i rant to my friends

can i rant to you
im really sad

mood swinging sally is back and i feel as though she is going to be here to stay for longer than a mood swing should last
im like not able to get over something L. said and i know it was a compliment about how love is going to just be so easy for me when it happens...but i really want it to happen soon...i'm so lonely..like not lonely as in i have no one in this world...it's a lonely as in i don't have a somebody in this world.....and i want to share things with a guy who i love...and i share things with my friends of course...but i want someone to love me and i want to love someone as much as i can, and i know that i have a lot of love to give i really do...its BEGGING to be used..its begging to come out and play but there are no takers...NO one...and i know there will be eventually, but there aren't in the future...not even the near one or the far one...and thats all i want...i just want love.

i want to write love letters to someone instead of no one
i want to send links to tell him (whomever he might be) that i love him more than the life cycle of a tree without even having to say a ting...fuck my liffeeeeeee i'm sorry i'm ranting so hard one would assume i'm stoned lol (but 'not, i'm 'working')

why wont **** talk to me....i wont talk to him..and i think i scared him away, and i regret that...i also wish **** wasn't such a guy and i wish he would pull and un-honesty card as opposed to an honest good friend one that he does and i wish he would just freaking give him a hint that i like him!...like fuck! act like a girl for a damn second...thats all i want...i want **** to know i have a measly crush on him and all i want is for him to just touch my hand...he doesn't even have to hold it...
i just need to be reminded that im alive.

fucking hormones

love you and thank you for letting me send this to you...you don't even have to read it...i just needed to type it.


ap